Please learn the following poems, about two neighbors named John Doe and Joe Blow.
The first two show a stupid Joe Blow, who resorts to violence when wronged by his neighbor. See how he lays himself open to both criminal and civil charges.

CRIMINAL LAW: State v. Blow

CRIMINAL LAW: State v. Blow

By The Doc

Petunia the pig belongs to John Doe,
And under the fence she likes to go,
Into the garden of the neighbor, Joe Blow,
To gobble up many a potato.

This was seen by Mister Joe Blow,
Who jumped the fence after John Doe.
“Your pig at many a potato!”
He cried, and smacked Doe with a hoe.

A man named Juan Rosario,
A neighbor looking from his window.
Cried out and said, “Oh, no! Oh, no!
To the police I now must go!”

Juan got the phone and said, “Hello!
Please stop the fight ‘twixt Blow and Doe!”
So quickly came a policeman named Moe,
And promptly arrested the violent Joe Blow.

The Prosecution says, “All of you know
Joe Blow Assaulted John Doe with a hoe
Beyond reasonable doubt, I plan to show,
And jail this defendant named Joe Blow!”

Blow says, “Judge Smith, you ought to know
Doe’s pig ate many a potato,
Which is why I hit worthless Doe with a hoe!
Therefore you must let me go!”

Jury and Judge say, “No, no, no!
These are things we don’t need to know!
This case is felony, a harmful blow!
Into the slammer you must go!”

1. Prosecution: The prosecution represents the local, state, or national government and brings a criminal case to court with an indictment.

2. Defendant: The defendant is the person who must answer charges brought against him.

3. Beyond a reasonable doubt: This is the standard of proof used in a criminal case. The prosecution must prove to the judge and jury that the defendant committed the crime of which he is accused, and prove it so no-one can reasonably doubt the defendant’s guilt. This is to avoid the possible punishment of an innocent person.

4. Felony: A felony is a serious crime like murder, theft, or assault and battery. A misdemeanor is a less serious crime like vandalism.


Let's not forget that after being struck with a hoe, John Doe probably needs some medical attention. Is justice fully served if the only thing that happens is Blow's incarceration for assault and battery? Probably not.

CIVIL LAW: Doe v. Blow

by The Doc

Petunia the pig belongs to John Doe
Under the fence she likes to go
Into the garden of neighbor Joe Blow
to gobble up many a potato.

Having lost too many a potato
The gardener whom we all know as Joe Blow
Smacked his neighbor with garden hoe
And for assault and battery to jail did go.

Going home from court our friend John Doe
Says, "To the doctor I now must go!
I'm greatly pained from being smacked with a hoe!
My head and face ache! Woe, woe woe!"

A skillful physician by the name of Sam Zhou
Patched up the face of the injured John Doe.
He smiles, "You'll be fine in a month or so,
And to me $2000 you surely owe."

John pays and back to his home he did go
And got on the phone to Lawyer Siciliano
To file a case called "Doe versus Blow";
He wanted damages, you surely know.

Judge Smith heard this tort case against Joe Blow
And said, "Damages this Joe Blow surely doth owe!
$2000 in damages, as you already know,
And I'll tack on punitive ones too, like so!"

The sadder and poorer felon Joe Blow
Not only paid the $2000 or so,
But also another $2000 or mo'
In punitive damages to John Doe.

So if Petunia Pig eats potato
In your garden, be careful, my bro!
Don't lose your temper like angry Joe Blow,
Who lost freedom and money both, you know!

In the poem below, we see a different scenario, in which Joe Blow keeps his head, and decides to deal with John Doe and his pig Petunia in a far more civilized, rational, and ultimately beneficial [to himself} manner.

CIVIL LAW Blow v. Doe

By the Doc

Petunia the pig belongs to John Doe,
And under the fence she likes to go,
Into the garden of the neighbor, Joe Blow,
To gobble up many a potato.

This was seen by Mister Joe Blow,
Who jumped the fence after John Doe.
“Your pig at many a potato!
Some money to me you surely owe!”

John Doe says to neighbor “This I know,
But I shall not pay you, Neighbor Joe Blow.”
Joe Blow now calls Lawyer Mel Toledano
And says, “To court I now must go!”

For his client Mel Toledano
Files a case called Blow v. Doe.
To Judge Smith he endeavors to show
That Doe’s carelessness harmed Joe Blow.

“The pig of defendant known as John Doe
Ate many potatoes belonging to Blow,”
Says Judge Smith, “I want to know,
What kind of damages you want, Joe Blow.”

Blow then said, “That pig of Doe
Came and ate many a potato.
I want perhaps $500 or so,
Since Your Honor wants to know.”

Judge Smith finds for the plaintiff Joe Blow
Who gets damages from defendant John Doe.
If civil law you want to know
Learn from the case of Blow v. Doe.


1. plaintiff: The individual or group bringing a civil case to court.

2. defendant or respondent: The person being sued in court.

3. Blow v. Doe: A case is reported by listing the plaintiff first. The v. stands for versus, a Latin word meaning “Against”.

4. damages: In a civil case, if the court finds for the plaintiff, the defendant must pay money, called damages, for the harm done to the plaintiff. The defendant does not go to prison.